Micah Moyer
3/28/12
Linguistic Analysis
Gender Differences with Compliments
Introduction
According
to the text How English Works, compliments are typically intended to
make others feel good, praise them, and to create solidarity or positive
relations (Curzan, 253). However, with all the positives that compliments can
bring, there are occasions where they are inappropriate. Gender plays a
large role in compliment behavior in many language varieties. Is it always
appropriate for males to compliment females? How about males complimenting males?
Also, does the topic vary depending on the gender of the person receiving the
compliment? I’ve consciously taken note while at various locations over the
period of a month, which gender employs compliments more so, and what those
compliments tend to be about. I’ve compiled my findings into pie graphs to
establish a visual for the numerical data based on the total number of
compliments I’ve heard over the past month I’ve found that unless in a goal
oriented environment compliments between males and females have varied. As far as same gender compliments go,
Females tend to compliment on appearance such as hair, makeup, and the
occasional outfit. While males compliment on materials such as shoes, apparel,
or other accessories like watches or hats. When the compliments are to opposite
genders, males compliment more so, while females are less likely to present
one.
Methods
For
my experiment within the time period of one month, I would gather data from an
assortment of place such as parties, baseball games, soccer practice, work,
around campus, and at the mall. At these places I would sit in crowded areas
and listen in on conversations, hoping to hear same gender compliments, and
different gender compliments. On the chance I hear a compliment, normally I’d
jot it down in the notes section of my phone to add to the compilation. I’ve
placed no age limit as far as age restrictions go for the unknowing
participants. The goal was to reach one hundred, which fortunately was
accomplished to ensure making a pie chart would be ideal. As far as making the
graphs I grouped the same gender compliments on the most common body, hats,
shoes, and clothes. While the females were based on clothes, body, accessories,
and shoes. These choices were based on the type of compliment I heard most
often. Thus making a pie chart out of 100 participants.
As
no study is perfect, there are certain aspects that will keep me from some of
the facets that would allow a more accurate and thorough study. That being
said, the more people I have at my disposal the more results I’d be able to
analyze, however, unfortunately I will not be able to hear every compliment but
within an immediate area. In addition, though there is prior research on the
topic, it was hard to find credible conclusive data on the topic, so I must
rely on self-reported data for the most part. However, self-reported data
contain several potential sources of bias that should be noted as limitations.
One large problem was the amount of time I allotted myself. One month to gather
as much data as I truly needed would’ve needed ample amounts of time, which
unfortunately I do not have. Furthermore, It’s hard to generalize with just the
use of gender as compliments vary socially, racially, and economically. Methodology
required the power of observation. Being very acute to my environment and
multiple conversations. Every time
I heard a compliment I would put a note down in my phone, about who said it,
and what the compliment entailed.
Sometimes the situation did call for smooth talking, in cases where I’d
been caught eavesdropping. For the
most part to avoid any misunderstandings, I would act as a fly on the wall, or
take part in the conversations myself. After the deadline started rolling
closer, I compiled the data into pie charts depicting a break down of all of
the data from my phone.
Results
Based
out of 100 participants you can see that the graph above depicts how the amount
of compliments in a percentage by both genders. As most can guess most
compliments came from males. This was of course no surprise, as males use
compliments and conversation openers quite frequently with males, and females. Further
down a heavier representation of compliments will be brought to light, of the
results that were found while out observing.
Who
is complimenting whom the most? As shown in the pie graph above, you can see
who gives the most compliments, and again whom they are giving them to. You can
see that the breakdown includes both genders and all possibilities of any pairs
of complimenting. Naturally the
male gender complimented females the most to start conversations, while
female-to-female compliments comes in second. Opposite gender compliments seemed imperative to conversation
in a variety of places, while same gender compliments were usually within areas
of business, or at high competitive areas such a sports practice, or in the
classrooms. It was also interesting to see females’ facial expression in the
same gender compliments as it seemed almost as high as 45% of the compliments
were insincere.
In this depiction we take a look at male-to-male
compliments. The only compliments that I heard were of the options shown on the
chart. Guys tended to compliment each other more so on material. Giving props
to a nice snapback hat, or the newest pair of Jordan’s, as well as original
clothes. To my surprise the occasional compliment of a guy’s muscles was heard.
To no surprise the material objects laid heavily on males’ minds, and the
breakdown of compliments displays that thoroughly.
For
the other same gender compliments, you find girls complimenting each other on
accessories over things like jewelry at older ages, and for college ages its
more along the lines of makeup. However, again the graph shows similar results
to which compliments are held in lowest regard when it comes to one another. The
results were not as balanced as I presumed that they would be, as clothing
compliments took a very commanding rank. The tie between shoes and accessories
was also a bit of a
As
for the opposite gender compliments we step away from materials, and go into
things less tangible, but highly appreciated. That being said female to male
compliments stood strongly with actions and personality. Concerned mostly with
what guys did or said. This is not a surprise, as girls do not tend to be as
worried about the physical aspects of a relationship, thus only judging guys on
how they seem to be received by others. Apparel was clearly not a concern to
some extent, as I saw quite a few sloppily dressed males with a many of sought
after females.
Males
were very simplistic with their compliments; occasionally you’ll hear a
well-versed guy say everything right. However, for the most part guys were
strictly complimenting girls solely off of appearance/body/face. It is no
surprise that guys are strictly into the physical. A lot of these compliments
were done secondhand however. Meaning they would compliment a girl among a
group of the male friends without her knowing. Compliment in that setting is a
loose term however. As far as one on one, guys were big in to complimenting on
eyes. I heard a plethora of compliments as far as females being funny, smart,
or driven as well. Perhaps there is hope for males yet.
Discussion
The
results indicate certain patterns, which obviously cannot be overlooked. Having
said this, it’s imperative to shed light on such occurrences. I’ve used these
studies to demonstrate their theories about inherent differences between the
genders and the societal impact of gender roles. Compliment patterns appear to
be quite different when the complimenter and complimentee are the same gender
from when they are different genders, and differences between males and females
still arise even within same-gender interactions. In the field research indicated
that the
discrepancies in male-male and female-female complimentary language may be due
to differences in perception concerning the purpose of compliments. The
hypothesis is that women use compliments to build affiliations, while men use
compliments to make evaluative judgments. Compliments are usually classified
into one of four categories, depending on what they refer to: appearance,
ability and performance, possessions, or personality.
My
data from opposite gender interactions show that male-female compliments are
significantly more frequent than female-male compliments, following the general
pattern that women receive the most compliments overall, whether from other
women or from men. Since males are expected to be relatively more forward, they
readily gave more obvious compliments. Male initiation of romantic relations is
more socially acceptable, so a misinterpreted compliment would not be viewed as
unnatural. Women tended to compliment each other considerably more often than
men complimented each other. I one found that compliment topics varied by gender. Females feel a relatively greater need to be cautious when giving
appearance compliments to males, for fear of seeming too forward or attracting
unwanted attention. I was very surprised by the rest of my results as far as
the compliment topics went.
One
far out detail I found interesting was that in How English Works,
compliments weren’t only received by mostly females, but also given as well. My
study showed complete opposition with that statement as far as who gave the
most compliments. Janet Holmes suggests that the discrepancies in male-male and
female-female complimentary language may be due to differences in perception
concerning the purpose of compliments. Moreover, in New Zealand data, it is
shown that women tend to compliment each other based on appearance most often. Men
were found to compliment each other based on possessions more often than they
compliment women based on possessions. Finding prior research for the topic
proved difficult, and on occasions the research found varied in who gave the
most compliments. What was found as consistent in all data I came across, and
verified myself, was what the compliments tended to be about.
Conclusion
It
seems evident that women and men values vary heavily from one another. While same gender compliments vary as
far as what possessions are held with high regard, it’s those possessions that
receive so many compliments. On the contrary with opposite gender compliments
from females value less tangible matters such as personality, and the caliber
of male’s actions. While males are very much so stuck in the world of the
physical, and compliment solely on what they can touch, smell, and see. So it’s
almost safe to say men are indeed from Mars and women are from Venus. Yet, here
we stand in a mixed array of sweet words that can hinder motives as quickly as
they may hasten.
Works Cited Page
Cameron,
Debra. "Complimenting: a Positive Politeness Strategy." Gender and
Interaction Theory. N.p., 1996. Web. 1 Apr 2012.
<http://aggslanguage.wordpress.com/gender-interaction-theory-–-holmes-tannen-cameron-defrancisco/>.
Curzan, Anne
, and Michael Adams. How EnglishWorks . Third. Boston: Longman, 2006.
253-255. Print.
Donna M. Johnson and Duane H. Roen.Language
in Society. Vol. 21, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), pp. 27-57. Published by: Cambridge
University Press. Web. 1 Apr.
2012.
Holmes, Janet. 1996. The role of
compliments in female-male interaction. Using English: From conversation to
canon. ed. by Janet Maybin and Neil Mercer. London: Open University. Web. 1 Apr. 2012.
Rees-Miller, Janie. "Compliments
Revisited: Contemporary Compliments And Gender." Journal Of Pragmatics
43.11 (2011): 2673-2688. Academic Search Complete. Web. 1 Apr. 2012.
Wogan, Peter, and Christopher Parisi.
"Compliment Topics And Gender." Women & Language 29.2 (2006):
21-28. Academic Search Complete. Web. 1 Apr. 2012.
Wolfson, N. (ref: Brower, Gerritsen,
DeHaan 1979). (1984). Pretty Is As Pretty Does: A Speech Act View of Sex Roles.
Applied Linguistics 5(3):236-244 doi:10.1093/applin/5.3.236. Web. 1 Apr. 2012.
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